Best Friendships

During the days leading up to Christmas, I always take the time to take stock of the last 12 months and everything about  my life.  What has this last year brought me?  What do I need to do differently?  Mostly I examine what I am grateful for.  Of course this list always includes my wonderful husband, my incredible children, and many other things.  I was especially touched this year by the wealth of friendships God has given me, and for that I am extremely grateful.

It was most evident when our deacons group and the staff of the Tacoma church went away for a little pre-holiday retreat to a cabin in the foothills of Crystal Mountain.  We are an unusual group.  If you look at us, we are as different as night and day.  We differ in background, color, age, style, opinion and the list goes on.  From a worldly perspective, it would seem unlikely for us to be friends.  However, we have really forged our relationships.   I have known Yvonne and Ruby the longest.  They were in Tacoma when Daren and I were hired to lead here.  Yvonne and I spent a lot of time together because I was focusing on the ministry that she was overseeing.  I wouldn’t say we were fast friends.  We respected each other’s convictions, we worked well together and we studied the Bible with a lot of people together.  Over time, discussions, life experiences, fights, happiness and sadness, we have become the best of friends.

Ruby led the Kitsap ministry at the time we moved in.  Because of the physical distance we did not get close emotionally.  I would say we had a good “working” relationship.  Then there was a time when they were not a part of the core leadership group because of her husband’s sea duty and we didn’t invest in each other at all.  Melody took over as a leader of Kitsap and her and I began to build our friendship.  Melody is a very dutiful and diligent person.  She has a conviction about spending time with those you should be close to.  She pursued a relationship with me!  Our similarities in our marriage dynamic and her open heart, built our friendship quickly.  I also believe she fostered my relationship with Ruby by initiating time for all of us to hang out.  When Ruby and her husband were asked to rejoin the leadership group, we got closer than ever before.  Ruby’s wisdom in dealing with difficult situations in the ministry and her love for people has built our friendship and laid a foundation for the relationship we will have as Daryl is appointed an elder with Ruby as a wonderful support.

Naomi has become a very dear friend.   She was baptized in Tacoma’s campus ministry so I was involved in her Bible studies.  I got to know her more through other people in the ministry and when she decided to marry our campus intern, well…a relationship with me was born as well.  Naomi is my “Timothy”.  She has done everything I have asked her to do.  She has a willing and learner’s spirit and she is very respectful and loving towards me.   We are about 15 years apart in age.  A little bit of a generation gap.  I don’t even think she knows who “Air Supply” is.  It’s okay!  I couldn’t lead this ministry without her.

All of these women are very unlikely friends.  I don’t think I chose them.  God chose them for me.  He knew I needed them.  Sometimes we can get so worldly in our perspective of who will be our friends.  We look around and don’t see who can fit the bill according to our standards.  Whose eyes are we looking through?  God sees Yvonne’s partnership, Melody’s conviction, Ruby’s wisdom and Naomi’s humble heart and He knew I needed them in my life.

Look around!  Who has God put in your life?  Who is in your Bible Talk?  Do those people seem not like you or not great “friend” candidates?  Look again.  They were put in your path for a reason.  God thinks you need them.  He knows what you need more than you do.   Don’t miss out on the blessing these different  people could bring to you.  Maybe there is a life lesson you can only learn from them, or a character issue you could only get help with from this person.  Don’t miss out on the growth.  Let God direct your steps on friendship and may He give you the deep relationships we all need.

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