South Sound Church of Christ

THE BATTLE FOR OUR FAMILIES

"Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." 2 Timothy 4:2-3

In Paul's last letter to Timothy, we see the idea that the ministry can be seen as a series of "seasons." In a real simple sense, these can be understood as "good times," and "bad times." Paul was urging Timothy to drive on, understanding that the solution to each season was found in the Word of God. In regards to family, I believe we are in a tough season. Traditional roles are being denigrated. God-assigned structure is being replaced by an egalitarian view of authority. The foundation of marriage is being boldly challenged. It used to be true that even the courts required couples to have a "pretty dog-gone good reason" to seek a divorce - now you can end a marriage for simple reasons like "incompatibility," or "unhappiness." With respect to our children, the idea of self-sacrifice is being subtly replaced by "self-esteem" and "self-love" (you can imagine how this clashes with scripture!). The television and video games are increasingly becoming a greater influence on their minds. The good news is that most people still understand a bit of how dangerous the instability of the family really is. I read an excerpt from a study, The Girl Scout Survey on the Beliefs and Moral Values of America 's Children. It states:

"Despite the diversity of perspectives among children, one thing is clear, the family has a decisive place in their world of meaning. The family - whatever it's configuration - is the institution most children trust to solve America 's problems. Marriage and a good family life is their chief priority as they face the future. And closer to their everyday experience, the family is their greatest source of emotional support and moral guidance." 1

The erosion of the family is not new, nor should it surprise us. The above quote was from the Girl Scouts of America, and while their high view of family stability is impressive, they simply (in their own way), are acknowledging a truth passed on to us from God: the family is supremely important. Family is not a man-made institution, but a God-made one. The family has always possessed a spiritual purpose and responsibility. The family was meant to reflect the glory of God, to train leaders for the world and the church, to be the seedbed of healthy interaction with other people, and to be a crucial tool in evangelizing a lost world. In short, the family is God's most basic building block. Is it any wonder it's foundation and effectiveness are under constant attack? Most of us would agree, to effectively undermine a system or a group that has far-reaching, significant impact, you attack it at its heart. In fact, given the relentless assault on God's idea of family, we might safely conclude that Satan understands its significance more than we do!

Given the reality of the current season, what are we to do? Remove ourselves from our worldly society? Blow up all forms of media in our homes? Personally escort our kids through life 24 hours a day? Obviously, these are not the solutions. However, what we can and should do is to see the struggle, and realize how our families must shine against the backdrop of these ugly realities. This solution IS obvious, but I am alarmed at how even many disciples take this very lightly. We must teach and train our families according to God's Word. As I thought about this personally, a few things came to my mind:

We must be deeply spiritual parents . How much do you love reading and applying God's Word to your own life? Are we truly impressing the legacy of God's greatness in all things onto our families (Duet. 6:4-9). Are there regular times of devotional, scripture reading, or praying together? As I assessed by own parenting, I was ashamed out how little time I was spending on my knees in prayer for my family. If we aren't deeply spiritual people, we won't raise families that are.

Love God's Word! I know I may be repeating myself, but this can't be understated. Our children are being taught a myth: the standard for your life is what you decide. When we embrace God's Word, and let it change us, we are truly submitting to a standard outside of ourselves. Our children need to see us deeply respecting Godly input from the Bible and other people. This example will go a long way in teaching our kids the right view of submission to a holy, loving God.

Be diligent about how you schedule your life. "My how the weeks fly," is a common statement in our church. Woe to us if that practically means our "life" leads us around on a leash. We need to think through our schedules carefully. Have regular family meetings. Plan the week together. If you have to, limit some of the extracurricular activities of your children. And by all means, let's please teach our children that sacrificing for the church; meeting needs, and serving others may at times cause us to revise our schedule. Remember, aimlessness is dangerous for anybody, but will have terrible effects on family life (1 Cor. 9:24 -27).

See your family as your #1 evangelistic asset. We do have one thing going for us - even though unsaved parents can't put their fingers on it, they DO at least feel this erosion of family. When they see our spiritual families, it is inspiring, and will serve to bring people in contact with God. Are we using our homes and our time to share our faith with people? By seeing the fruit of our lives, people will be brought closer to a place of openness (Matt. 5:14 -16).

We are in the midst of a tough season for family. Let's embrace the words of Paul, and keep our heads, turn aside from myths, and stay focused on God's Word. The battle for our families is not just a crucial one for the stability and future of our church, but for the world!

1. Coles, R., Girl Scouts survey on the Beliefs and Moral Values of America 's Children (New York: Girl Scouts of America, 1989), 102.